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Posts tagged ‘strengths’

What Personality is the Best Personality?

kids and colors

Now that’s a loaded question! The Powerful Cholerics would say they are, because they keep things running. The Proper Melancholic would say they are, because they keep everything organized and in order. The Peaceful Phlegmatics would say they are, because they keep everyone getting along. And the Playful Sanguines would say they are, because they bring the fun. Most personalities feel like their personality is the best. But truth be known, all personalities have strengths and struggles. All personalities are needed in this world. So which personality is the best personality?

The one living in their strengths!

It can be tempting to look at the personalities of children and think, “Why can’t my child be more like that?!” That can be a normal response. After all, you may think another personality looks more fun, happier, more compliant, more similar to yours, or just plain easier. But please try to remind yourself that each personality has a special role and function. Just like a box of crayons has many different shades and colors, so does the world of people! You may need a blue to color the sky, a yellow for the sun, green for the grass, and a red for the fire engine zooming by! There is not one color that can do it all!

It is also important to remember that being a certain personality does not mean that we write off teaching our children to do things outside of their personalities. Granted, you may have a child whose natural personality is very orderly and even organizes things for fun. This Proper Melancholic child will probably keep a clean room and need little direction in doing so. On the other hand you may have a Playful Child that can’t keep track of anything and can’t keep order of their life depended on it. That doesn’t mean that the Playful Child gets to write off being clean or ordered. You as a parent may need to work with the Playful Child to help them learn what methods help them keep their room clean and manageable. Likewise, you may need to set a realistic expectation of what clean will look like for each child.

You may have a Peaceful Phlegmatic child that speaks carefully and avoids conflict or upset at any cost. This child will probably have smooth relationships that require little oversight or redirection. You may have a Powerful Choleric child that says the first thing that comes to mind, no matter how harsh or strong their words may sound. That doesn’t mean that the Powerful Child gets off the hook for learning to speak with gentle or kind tones. You as a parent may need to work with the Powerful Child to learn the power of their words and the effect on others.

Our personalities may be the reason that certain traits come easy for us. They may help explain a frame of reference. They may even help us predict or anticipate our child’s response. This does not mean that we enable or justify traits or behaviors that are unhealthy or not constructive. Our personality type is like a road map. We can figure out where we are, where we are going, obstacles we may come upon, and the best route to get where we want to be.

Our challenge as parents comes in teaching our children to live in their strengths. We encourage them to grow, practice, and learn those things that are necessary but not easy. We train them to use their natural strengths to develop good relationships and good character.

You may find that as you learn about the personalities, you have some questions that come up. Feel free to contact me if you have a question you would like me to address. I will take some time in the next few days to answer some commonly asked questions. I would love to take time to address your thoughts or questions as well. Visit TheYouZoo.com or email Jami@JamiKirkbride.com with your questions.

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Oh Say! Can You See Your Child’s Personality Strengths?

kids personality

We’ve taken a glimpse at the visual clues and verbal clues of personalities. (If you missed those blog posts, be sure to go back and check them out!) You are probably starting to guess where your child falls. Let’s take a look at the personality strengths of each of the personalities and see if that might shed some light on your special little creation! It is important to remember that your child does not have to possess every trait that is listed to be that particular personality. We are simply looking for the personality type that most closely resembles your child. And remember, people are typically a combination of two. So as you look through these, it is common that you can begin to narrow it down but still have two that sound feasible. We will take a look at personality struggles and emotional needs, and that process may help us find the primary and secondary personality.

The Playful Sanguine has some delightful strengths. They are very social and friendly. It is not hard for them to function socially, as they make friends easily, and they tend to do it quickly after entering into a situation. They are talkative and share openly, and are energized by people. Engaging others is quite easy, as they talk quickly, loudly, and with the use of gestures for emphasis. These kids tend to be curious and always in search of the next fun adventure. They are eager to do things and go places. Rarely are they down, as they bounce back quickly. You will most generally find them cheerful and eager. They are often referred to as The Noise Maker, and their motto would be, “I must have some excitement!”

The Powerful Choleric has some amazing strengths. They tend to be natural leaders. They wake in the morning and want to know what you are going to do, because they want to be productive. Looking for the next thing to conquer puts their daring and energetic nature to work. It is not hard for them to be focused on a task and see it through. Powerful children are very competitive, and desire to be the best. It is not hard for them to be assertive and get what they want. They rarely ask or desire help and are very self-sufficient. They are referred to as The Plan Maker, and their motto would be, “I must have some control!”

The Proper Melancholic has strengths that are quiet, but carefully thought out. They tend to be deep thinkers  that are detail oriented and analytical. Being responsible comes easily to them, and they are dutiful in completing things to the best of their ability. Looking at every angle, they will complete something in a perfectionistic manner. Even their play tends to be carefully thought out. They are often times artistically inclined. Being a faithful friend comes easy to them. Their careful attention to details and tasks make them intense and cautious, which helps them think before they speak or act. They are referred to as The Rule Maker, and their motto would be, “I must have some order!”

The Peaceful Phlegmatic quietly contributes many strengths. These kids are calm and laid back, don’t require a lot of entertainment, and are easily amused. They tend to be agreeable with whatever you ask of them, and are not easily upset by others. Being dependable comes pretty easy to them, as you can count on them to come through and do as you’d expect. Their very nature is compliant, and they require very little discipline. Listening is easy for this child, as he’d rather listen than talk. They make good friends for others as they play well with others. They are referred to as The Peace Maker, and their motto would be, “I must have some rest!”

As you read these strengths, you will undoubtedly identify traits your child possesses. Each personality has their distinct strengths. Which personality is the best? What personality is the worst? There is no best or worst! Each personality bring something different to life. I explained it like a box of crayons to a class of kids. Sometimes we need yellow when we color. Sometimes blue is what we are looking for. Green may be needed for certain things, and the same goes for red. No one could do much with a box full of crayons that were all the same color. Likewise, each personality brings a different trait to life and to a family. I encourage you to start watching your child with eyes for his/her strengths. And ask yourself a few questions to really gain an understanding for their strengths:

  • What do they do easily and without much help?
  • What things do they do quickly and without much thought?
  • What do they do well in social situations?
  • What things do others notice that they do well?
  • What traits does your child possess that you admire?

Gain a new perspective of your child’s strengths. Give them genuine praise for what you see as them do well. Encouraging their strengths is a great way to compliment them in a deep in meaningful way, since those are usually the very traits they value!

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