This can be a common theme for Powerful Cholerics. While it is a theme that presents in both adults and children, we will focus more on the parent in this post.
The Powerful Choleric feels very capable and able to do almost anything they encounter. They are often heard making the bold declaration, “I will do it myself!” It could also be a mutter under their breath as they become exasperated that someone in their presence isn’t just getting it done. They are not easily discouraged and spend little time on thinking things over and most of their time just diving in and doing things. Their self-talk differs greatly from the other two personalities that we’ve covered, largely because they are task focused. Their self-talk might sound more like the following:
“Of course I can do it.”
“Everything will be okay as long as I am there.”
“I can do that real quick before I…”
“I’d rather do that alone than have their help.”
“My idea will work best.”
“I can do that better.”
“I’ll just hurry up and…”
A Powerful Choleric would read the above list and feel proud. After all, it sounds very productive and useful. But this self-talk can present some problems for the Powerful Choleric in everyday life, relationships, and parenting.
How might these play out in a Powerful Choleric parent? You might see the following:
- Frustrated easily when child does not operate at their speed and slows them down.
- Angered when they can’t manage the stress they’ve created by being over committed.
- Upset when they are hurrying everywhere because they haven’t managed time and tasks well.
- Harsh mannered with kids and discipline as it slows them down and feels futile.
- Speaks loudly and can easily belittle others out of frustration.
- Exercises little patience in dealing with imagination or child-centered play.
- Tends to just take over a task, rather than teaching a child how to do it for themselves.
- Committed to so many other tasks that they are spread thin and don’t give child quality time.
- Prone to spills and breaking things as they attempt to move to quickly and force things to happen.
How can a Powerful Choleric address the self-talk that propels them into a tornado of activity and causes them to be less effective as a parent?
- Slow down and be realistic. There are only so many hours in a day and so many minutes in an hour. Try to be more realistic about what you can or should do in the time you have.
- Don’t do it all!
- Realize that relationships have value. You easily see the tasks and all that need to be done. But don’t miss out on the people along the way. While multi-tasking can be a great skill, there are some things, like kids, that just need your undivided attention.
- Stay in the game. Often times, when things are out of the Powerful Cholerics control, they just take their ball and play elsewhere. You can’t afford to do that with parenting. You will discipline the same issues repeatedly. You will not have control over everything your child does. But your role as parent and disciplinarian must remain strong.
It can be hard to look at yourself and see things that might not be desirable. Gaining personal insight helps you become more effective as a parent though. What might be your faulty thinking? If the above does not fit, you may find one of the other personality posts in the last couple days more appropriate. Listen to your self-talk today. What do you tell yourself? How does that help you/hurt you as a parent?