Question: I have two kids that are both organized but are otherwise very different. What does that mean, or how can I figure them out? Are they both the same personality?
Sometimes, there are traits that might be seen in different personalities. Being a leader and being organized are two that are quite common. So people may see organization and automatically assume that a child is a Proper Melancholic. But the truth is, other personalities can be organized in other ways or for other reasons. A Powerful Choleric can organize people and tasks. A Peaceful Phlegmatic may take time to organize something that makes life easier with just a little order and no effort, like a spice rack. A Playful Sanguine can organize fun things or otherwise simple things such as fun outings. But a Proper Melancholic organizes things on a regular basis because that is how they function best. They use systems and organized means to getting things done regularly.
Being a leader is another trait that can cause some confusion. A Playful Sanguine may be the leader of the pack as a group heads out for a fun activity. The Proper Melancholic may take the lead to getting details in order and making sure that things are done fairly. A Peaceful Phlegmatic may lead a group in order to help things go smoothly and in the absence of another who wants to lead. But the Powerful Choleric is a natural born leader. They function best and most comfortably in this role.
These are just two of the traits that one might notice. Why is this important? It’s important, because seeing that personalities may have some similarities but actually be very different is key. One must look beyond just the trait or action and look to see the motivation. The reason someone does something is often times more telling than what they are doing. This concept closely relates to the mottos (or default settings, as a previous blog explained) that different personalities have. Is the motivation to:
- Have some excitement? Do it the fun way? (Playful Sanguine)
- Have some control? Do it their way? (Powerful Choleric)
- Have some order? Do it the right way? (Proper Melancholic)
- Have some rest? Do it the easy way? (Peaceful Phlegmatic)
If you can figure out why someone is doing that particular trait or action, than you can see which personality it relates to. Then these similarities can be more easily understood.
You will quickly see the personalities at work all around you. Whether you are watching your child, your spouse, your friend, or even just the clerk at the grocery store—you will see personalities all around you! You will be able to pick up on clues that tell you what personality someone might be. It will be fascinating to start seeing all the pieces fit together. Don’t forget to look deeper than just the trait you first notice. You will be amazed at how this insight can truly transform the way you see others and the way you relate as well!